Friday, September 27, 2013

The most terrifying thing ever

I may or may not have mentioned that my new house was sometimes plagued with unwelcome guests in the noche; namely, cockroaches.

Now, being as I am in the Peace Corps I've been really strong about these critters. I have covered all of my utensils and kept my food in containers in other containers. I used my mosquito net properly at night to keep critters out of my beautiful hair.

Then, being as I am me, I began researching different, safe, nontoxic ways to get rid of these night terrors. I read a few things, but didn't stress too much about it. I began asking my fellow Peace Corps Volunteers what they chose to do. Everyone said the same thing... Spray. Get spray. You need spray. Find spray. It's cheap, it kills, it's worth it.

So I bought the green spray with a picture of a cockroach on it at Jumbo. I came home and night appeared. I read the Spanish words because I was trying to decide if the spray was for direct contact with the bugs or for contact with my house. Well, I saw a critter and decided to start spraying. He died.

I went mad after that. I sprayed the walls where I know they like to think they can hold a residence. I aimed for cracks and was really just hoping for the best.

Wouldn't you know it, cockroaches started coming out of the cementwork (my house isn't wooden). They were crawling for the roof and many didn't make it that far before they fell. I found more cracks and then went to the back of my house. I wanted some fresh or while the bugs dealt with my message.

When I came back in it was dark and I put my flashlight at the wall. Then I saw it. Crawling out of my map of the DR it looked like a giant snake.

It was a centipede. Bump that. I was squirming with a crazy force. Terrified, I ran as I caught my breath. As I snuck back into my kitchen it was gone. Dang! I'd lost sight of my challenger.

No, he was on the ground. His life was failing. The spray had hit him a little. I added some more. It was the scariest bug I'd ever seen. It didn't help that the PC doctors said this was the only but to worry about on this island and that one girl woke up with it in her hair because the mosquito net wasn't tucked in tight enough.

So eventually it dies and shrivels up smaller than it was and I can't even bring myself to take a picture because, eww.

So that night I spray more in my room and they come out of he cement work trying to escape. I won't tell you what it was like when I realized my mosquito net, too, wasn't tucked in right enough, because a creature was walking all casually across my bed as I read the book "Lamb" by Christopher Moore, thanks Conner for that. I'm not going to describe how fast I ripped my net out so I could escape. I may have screamed a little. I won't mention how I was leaning down and something jumped off of my mosquito net and landed on my naked back. I swear they were trying to get me out of the house just as quickly as I'm trying to get them out. Who will win?

Anyway, I got back in my returned net. Took a look through all of my covers and turned out the light. "If I can't see it it can't see me. If I can't see it it can't see me." Yeah right.

I woke up to a floor of dead but carcasses. I felt kind of bad because one was still moving a little. I used to think I cared about the environment then my house was filled with cockroaches.

I will put out there that as I swept the bugs out a random chicken I've never seen in my yard ran in and ate them and am I could think to do was pray the poison didn't kill the chicken later.

So, what do you think? What would you do? I'm thinking about getting a bomb thing. I assume they have then here somewhere. I'll check tonight and if my house still seems to have a lot, I'll go for the big guns and buy a bug bomb.


  1. U went to war. I feel that way when I get a can of wasp spray and go to town on a nest n blast the crap out of it n get the wasps in the air running for cover or trying to attack me

  2. Well you've clearly drawn the battle lines, go team Amanda!!